Thus I became, at an early age, conscious
of a nobler, purer, inner-life, and laid the foundation of that proper
self-consciousness and moral pride which have accompanied me through
life. Temptations returned from time to time, and each time took a more
dangerous form: not only was I suspected as being capable of unworthy
things, but base conduct was actually charged against me, and this in
such a way as left no doubt of the impropriety of the suspicion and of
the untruthfulness of the accusation. So it came to pass that in the
first years of my boyhood I was perforce led to live to myself and in
myself--and indeed to study my own being and inner consciousness, as
opposed to external circumstances. My inward and my outward life were
at that time, even during play and other occupations, my principal
subjects for reflection and thought.
A notable influence upon the development and formation of my character
was also exercised by the position of my parents' house. It was closely
surrounded by other buildings, walls, hedges, and fences, and was
further enclosed by an outer courtyard, a paddock, and a kitchen garden.
Beyond these latter I was strictly forbidden to pass.
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