As to my state at the time, I have,
as accurately as may be, described it above, as at once exalted and
depressed, animated and dull. That Pestalozzi himself was carried away
and bewildered by this great intellectual machine of his appears from
the fact that he could never give any definite account of his idea, his
plan, his intention. He always said, "Go and see for yourself" (very
good for him who knew _how_ to look, how to hear, how to perceive); "it
works splendidly!"[48] It was at that time, indeed, surprising and
inexplicable to me that Pestalozzi's loving character did not win every
one's heart as it won mine, and compel the staff of teachers to draw
together into a connected whole, penetrated with life and intellectual
strength in every part. His morning and evening addresses were deeply
touching in their simplicity; and yet I remarked in them even already at
that time some slight traces of the unhappy dissensions afterwards to
arise.[49]]
I left Yverdon in mid-October (1805) with a settled resolution to return
thither as soon as possible for a longer stay. As soon as I got back to
Frankfurt, I received my definite appointment from the Consistorium.
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