And yet my life, to all appearance, my studies and
my desires, belonged to my purely external vocation,[91] and to its
external citizenlike relations; and by no means to mankind at large,
either regarded in itself or in its educational needs. Therefore this
idea of mine was in such violent contrast with my actual life that it
utterly surprised me. In fact, and perhaps greatly because of this
contrast, the idea would undoubtedly have been quite forgotten, had not
other circumstances occurred to revive it. On myself and on my life at
the time it seemed to have not the slightest effect, and it soon passed
from my memory. But later on in this same journey,[92] as I climbed down
from the Wartburg, and turned round to look at the castle, there rushed
upon me once more this thought of a higher educational vocation as my
proper life-work; and again, being so far removed from my actual
external life, it only flashed upon me with a momentary effulgence an
instant, and then sank. This, unconsciously to me, and therefore quite
disregarded by me, was the real position of my inner life when I arrived
at the goal of my journey, Frankfurt, from whence my life was so soon to
develop so largely.
Pages:
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200