The thought of his beloved disciple
wandering amidst the darkness on the mountains; the anticipation of the
resolutions he might form, after communing with his God; the covert
hostility of his brother monks; the Abbot's frowns and doubts; the fear
that he would oblige Benedetto to choose between leaving the convent
and taking the monastic vows, all weighed heavily upon his heart.
Benedetto's mystic fervour, his great and unconscious humility, his
progress in comprehending the Faith according to the ideas originating
with Signer Giovanni, a new lucidity of thought which flashed from him
in conversation, the growing strength of their mutual affection, had
awakened in him hopes of a revelation of Divine Grace, of Divine Truth,
of Divine Power for the saving of souls, to be made, at no distant
period, through this outcast of the world. They had said at the meeting
at Signor Selva's house, "A saint is needed." The first to affirm this
had been the Swiss Abbe. Others had said that the saint should be a
layman. This was moreover his own opinion, and Benedetto's repugnance
to a monastic life seemed to him providential.
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