I don't believe what classic noodles say,
That Music stopped the haemorrhage of ULYSSES;
That CATO'S stiffened joints attained free play
From harmony of sounds. Such "rot" sense hisses.
I'd just as soon believe the Theban walls
Were twangled into place by young Amphion.
Bah! Minds made sane by Music's scrapes and squalls?
Not _mine_, though the lyre-thrumber were Arion.
Drums, trumpets, fiddles, organs--_all_ are bad.
And vocal fireworks are far worse than vanity.
Stop, though! _I_'m sane, and they just drive me mad;
So Music _may_ drive _idiots_ into sanity!
* * * * *
[Illustration: AT A SMOKING CONCERT.
_Distinguished Amateur_ (_with good Method but small Voice, suddenly
jumping up from Piano_). "LOOK HERE, ALGY. I DO CALL IT BEASTLY BAD
FORM FOR YOU AND SIKES TO TALK WHEN I'M SINGING!"
_Algy_. "ALL RIGHT, OLD MAN--AWFULLY SORRY--DIDN'T KNOW YOU _WERE_
SINGING, YOU KNOW!"]
* * * * *
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
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