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Train, Arthur Cheney, 1875-1945

"Courts and Criminals"

"
"Fifty?"
"Yes, I will say so."
"Seventy?"
"Yes."
"Eighty?"
"Yes," responded the young lady with a countenance absolutely
devoid of expression.
"A hundred?" inquired the lawyer with a thrill of eager
triumph in his voice.
There was a significant hush in the court-room Then the
witness, with a patient smile and a slight lifting of her
pretty eyebrows, remarked quietly:
"Mr. Wellman, don't you think we have carried our little joke
far enough?"
There is no witness in the world more difficult to cope with
than a shrewd old woman who apes stupidity, only to reiterate
the gist of her testimony in such incisive fashion as to leave
it indelibly imprinted on the minds of the jury. The lawyer
is bound by every law of decency, policy and manners to treat
the aged dame with the utmost consideration. He must allow
her to ramble on discursively in defiance of every rule of
law and evidence in answer to the simplest question; must
receive imperturbably the opinions and speculations upon every
subject of both herself and (through her) of her neighbors;
only to find when he thinks she must be exhausted by her own
volubility, that she is ready, at the slightest opportunity,
to break away again into a tangle of guesswork and hearsay,
interwoven with conclusions and ejaculation.


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