I rejoiced in
him, was proud of him, and soon could not live without him; yet,
though resolved every day to disclose the whole story of my
connection with him, I had it not in my power. Something always
prevented me, till at length I thought no more of it, but resolved
to enjoy his fascinating company in private, and by all means to
keep my own with him. The resolution was vain: I set a bold face
to it, but my powers were inadequate to the task; my adherent,
with all the suavity imaginable, was sure to carry his point. I
sometimes fumed, and sometimes shed tears at being obliged to
yield to proposals against which I had at first felt every reasoning
power of my soul rise in opposition; but for all that he never
faded in carrying conviction along with him in effect, for he
either forced me to acquiesce in his measures, and assent to the
truth of his positions, or he put me so completely down that I had
not a word left to advance against them.
After weeks, and I may say months of intimacy, I observed,
somewhat to my amazement, that we had never once prayed
together; and, more than that, that he had constantly led my
attentions away from that duty, causing me to neglect it wholly.
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