I never doubted that I was one of the elect myself; for,
besides the strong inward and spiritual conviction that I
possessed, I had my kind father's assurance; and these had been
revealed to him in that way and measure that they could not be
doubted.
In this desponding state, I sat myself down on a stone, and
bethought me of the rashness of my undertaking. I tried to
ascertain, to my own satisfaction, whether or not I really had been
commissioned of God to perpetrate these crimes in His behalf,
for, in the eyes and by the laws of men, they were great and
crying transgressions. While I sat pondering on these things, I
was involved in a veil of white misty vapour, and, looking up to
heaven, I was just about to ask direction from above, when I
heard as it were a still small voice close by me, which uttered
some words of derision and chiding. I looked intensely in the
direction whence it seemed to come, and perceived a lady robed
in white, who hastened towards me. She regarded me with a
severity of look and gesture that appalled me so much I could not
address her; but she waited not for that, but coming close to my
side said, without stopping: "Preposterous wretch! How dare you
lift your eyes to Heaven with such purposes in your heart? Escape
homewards, and save your Soul, or farewell for ever!"
These were all the words that she uttered, as far as I could ever
recollect, but my spirits were kept in such a tumult that morning
that something might have escaped me.
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