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Hogg, James, 1770-1835

"The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner"

His posture continued the same, until at last I came
so near him I could have heard him breathe if his face had been
towards me. I laid my cap aside, and made me ready to spring
upon him and push him over. I could not for my life accomplish
it! I do not think it was that I durst not, I have always felt my
courage equal to anything in a good cause. But I had not the
heart, or something that I ought to have had. In short, it was not
done in time, as it easily might have been. These THOUGHTS
are hard enemies wherewith to combat! And I was so grieved that
I could not effect my righteous purpose that I laid me down on
my face and shed tears. Then, again, I thought of what my great
enlightened friend and patron would say to me, and again my
resolution rose indignant and indissoluble save by blood. I arose
on my right knee and left foot, and had just begun to advance the
latter forward: the next step my great purpose had been
accomplished, and the culprit had suffered the punishment due to
his crimes. But what moved him I knew not: in the critical
moment he sprung to his feet, and, dashing himself furiously
against me, he overthrew me, at the imminent peril of my life.


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