These were but temporary and sinful fears, but they added greatly
to my unhappiness.
The worst thing of all was what hitherto I had never felt, and, as
yet, durst not confess to myself, that the presence of my
illustrious and devoted friend was becoming irksome to me.
When I was by myself, I breathed freer, and my step was lighter;
but, when he approached, a pang went to my heart, and, in his
company, I moved and acted as if under a load that I could hardly
endure. What a state to be in! And yet to shake him off was
impossible--we were incorporated together--identified with one
another, as it were, and the power was not in me to separate
myself from him. I still knew nothing who he was, further than
that he was a potentate of some foreign land, bent on establishing
some pure and genuine doctrines of Christianity, hitherto only
half understood, and less than half exercised. Of this I could have
no doubts after all that he had said, done and suffered in the
cause. But, alongst with this, I was also certain that he was
possessed of some supernatural power, of the source of which I
was wholly ignorant. That a man could be a Christian and at the
same time a powerful necromancer, appeared inconsistent, and
adverse to every principle taught in our Church and from this I
was led to believe that he inherited his powers from on high, for I
could not doubt either of the soundness of his principles or that he
accomplished things impossible to account for.
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