In this state of irritation and misery was I dragging on an
existence, disgusted with all around me, and in particular with my
mother, who, with all her love and anxiety, had such an
insufferable mode of manifesting them that she had by this time
rendered herself exceedingly obnoxious to me. The very sound of
her voice at a distance went to my heart like an arrow, and made
all my nerves to shrink; and, as for the beautiful young lady for
whom they told me I had been so much enamoured, I shunned all
intercourse with her or hers, as I would have done with the Devil.
I read some of their letters and burnt them, but refused to see
either the young lady or her mother on any account.
About this time it was that my worthy and reverend parent
came with one of his elders to see my mother and myself. His
presence always brought joy with it into our family, for my
mother was uplifted, and I had so few who cared for me, or for
whom I cared, that I felt rather gratified at seeing him. My
illustrious friend was also much more attached to him than any
other person (except myself) for their religious principles tallied
in every point, and their conversation was interesting, serious,
and sublime.
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