And if the government of the countenance be of such effect, much
more is that of the speech, and other carriage appertaining to
conversation; the true model whereof seemeth to me well expressed by
Livy, though not meant for this purpose: Ne aut arrogans videar,
aut obnoxius; quorum alterum est alienae libertatis obliti, alterum
suae: the sum of behaviour is to retain a man's own dignity,
without intruding upon the liberty of others. On the other side, if
behaviour and outward carriage be intended too much, first it may
pass into affectation, and then Quid deformius quam scenam in vitam
transferre--to act a man's life? But although it proceed not to
that extreme, yet it consumeth time, and employeth the mind too
much. And therefore as we use to advise young students from company
keeping, by saying, Amici fures temporis: so certainly the
intending of the discretion of behaviour is a great thief of
meditation. Again, such as are accomplished in that form of
urbanity please themselves in it, and seldom aspire to higher
virtue; whereas those that have defect in it do seek comeliness by
reputation; for where reputation is, almost everything becometh; but
where that is not, it must be supplied by puntos and compliments.
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