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Sinclair, Upton, 1878-1968

"They Call Me Carpenter"

" I thought for a moment. "Tell me,
is there a convention of the Brigade--that is, I mean, of the
American Legion in Western City now?"
"No," said the other; "at least, not that I've heard of. They've
just held their big convention in Kansas City."
"Oh, I see! I remember--I read about it in the 'Nation.' They were
pretty riotous--made a drunken orgy of it."
"Yes," said the clergyman. "I've heard that. It seems too bad."
"One thing more. Tell me, is there a picture of Mr. de Wiggs in the
vestry-room?"
"Good gracious, no!" laughed the other. "Was that one of the things
you dreamed? Maybe you're thinking of the portrait they are showing
at the Academy."
"By George, that's it!" I said. "I patched the thing up out of all
the people I know, and all the things I've read in the papers! I had
been talking to a German critic, Dr. Henner--or wait a moment! Is he
real? Yes, he came before I went to see the picture. He'll be
entertained to hear about it. You see, the picture was supposed to
be the delirium of a madman, and when I got this whack on the jaw, I
set to work to have a delirium of my own, just as I had seen on the
screen.


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