"
"He could if he eat enough at one time. 'Tennyrate, I'm goin' to New York
to see about it."
"When are you goin'?" sez I.
"I'm goin' to-morrow mornin'. I'm goin' in onexpected and I lay out to
catch him devourin' them big eggs himself."
"Oh, shaw!" sez I. "The idee!"
"Well, I say the Trusts and Middlemen are dishonest as the old Harry. Don't
you remember what one on 'em writ to Uncle Sime Bentley and what he writ
back? He'd sent a great load of potatoes to him and he didn't get hardly
anything for 'em, only their big bill for sellin' 'em. They charged him for
freightage, carage, storage, porterage, weightage, and to make their bill
longer, they put in _ratage_ and _satage_.
"Uncle Sime writ back 'You infarnel thief, you, put in "stealage" and keep
the whole on't.'"
But I sez, "They're not all dishonest. There are good men among 'em as well
as bad."
"Well, I lay out to see to it myself, and if they ever charge me for
'ratage' and 'satage' I'm goin' to see what they are, and how they look."
"Well," sez I, "if you're bound to go, I'll get up and get a good breakfast
and go with you." It was the day of the Woman's Suffrage Parade and I
wanted to see it. I wanted to like a dog, and had ever since I hearn of it.
Though some of the Jonesvillians felt different. The Creation Searchin'
Society wuz dretful exercised about it. The President's stepma is a strong
She Aunty and has always ruled Philander with an iron hand.
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