In the working hours his will conquered with the aid of fixed habit and he
was able to concentrate upon his editorials. But in his rooms, and
especially after the lights were out, his imagination became master,
deprived him of sleep and occasionally lifted him to a height of hope in
order that it might dash him down the more cruelly upon the rocks of fact.
At last he was forced to face the situation--in his own evasive fashion. It
was impossible to go back. That loneliness which often threatened him after
Alice's death had become the permanent condition of his life. "I will work
for her," he said. "Until I have made a place for her I dare not claim her.
So much I will concede to my weakness. But when I have won a position which
reasonably assures the future, I shall claim her--no matter what has
happened in the meanwhile."
He would have smiled at this wild resolution had he been in a less
distracted state of mind or had he been dealing with any other than a
matter of love. But in the circumstances it gave him heart and set him to
work with an energy and effectiveness which still further increased Mr.
Malcolm's esteem for him.
"Will you dine with me at the Union Club on Wednesday?" Mr. Malcolm asked
one morning in mid-February.
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