He thought a moment. "Oh, nothing," he said. "What's the use of discussing
what can't be helped?" How could he tell her that the greatest factor in
his enervating environment was herself; that the strongest chains which
held him in it were the chains which bound him to her? Indeed, was he not
indulging in cowardly self-excuse in thinking that this was true? Had not
his success, rather than his love, made ambition unfettered by principle
the mainspring of his life?
XX.
ILLUSION.
"How shall we be married?" Howard asked her in the late Autumn.
"I know it will not be in a church with ushers and bridesmaids and a crowd
gaping at us. I suppose there is a public side to marriage since the state
makes one enter into a formal contract. But that can be done privately. I
should as soon think of driving down the Avenue with my arms about your
neck as of a public wedding."
"Thank you," he laughed. "I was afraid--well, women are usually so fond
of--but you're not usual. Let us see. The minister is absolutely necessary,
I suppose. Would one feel married if there were not a minister?"
"I don't know--I feel--"
She hesitated and blushed but looked straight at him with that expression
in her eyes which always made him think of their love as their religion.
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