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Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith), 1874-1936

"Alarms and Discursions"

To put it plainly, Ethandune is anywhere
and nowhere in the western hills; it is an English mirage.
And yet but for this doubtful thing you would have probably
no Daily News on Saturday and certainly no church on Sunday.
I do not say that either of these two things is a benefit;
but I do say that they are customs, and that you would not possess
them except through this mystery. You would not have Christmas
puddings, nor (probably) any puddings; you would not have Easter eggs,
probably not poached eggs, I strongly suspect not scrambled eggs,
and the best historians are decidedly doubtful about curried eggs.
To cut a long story short (the longest of all stories), you would
not have any civilization, far less any Christian civilization.
And if in some moment of gentle curiosity you wish to know why you
are the polished sparkling, rounded, and wholly satisfactory citizen
which you obviously are, then I can give you no more definite answer
geographical or historical; but only toll in your ears the tone
of the uncaptured name--Ethandune.
I will try to state quite sensibly why it is as important as it is.
And yet even that is not easy. If I were to state the mere fact
from the history books, numbers of people would think it equally
trivial and remote, like some war of the Picts and Scots.
The points perhaps might be put in this way. There is a
certain spirit in the world which breaks everything off short.


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