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Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith), 1874-1936

"Alarms and Discursions"


"Ha, the last," said the king heartily, "welcome back again!"
There was a long pause, and then the stunted archer said,
"What do you mean by 'again'? I have never been here before."
The king stared for a few seconds, and said, "I sent you out from
this room with the four doors last night." After another pause
the little man slowly shook his head. "I never saw you before,"
he said simply; "you never sent me out from anywhere. I only saw
your four turrets in the distance, and strayed in here by accident.
I was born in an island in the Greek Archipelago; I am by profession
an auctioneer, and my name is Punk." The king sat on his throne
for seven long instants like a statue; and then there awoke in his mild
and ancient eyes an awful thing; the complete conviction of untruth.
Every one has felt it who has found a child obstinately false.
He rose to his height and took down the heavy sword above him,
plucked it out naked, and then spoke. "I will believe your mad
tales about the exact machinery of arrows; for that is science.
I will believe your mad tales about traces of life in the moon;
for that is science. I will believe your mad tales about jellyfish
turning into gentlemen, and everything turning into anything;
for that is science. But I will not believe you when you tell me
what I know to be untrue. I will not believe you when you say that
you did not all set forth under my authority and out of my house.


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