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Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920

"The Albany Depot : a Farce"

But I shall take a coupe, and tell the driver simply
to fly, though there's plenty of time to go to the ends of the earth
and back before our train starts. Only I should like to be here to
receive the Campbells, and keep Willis from buying tickets for Amy and
himself, and us, too, for that matter; he has that vulgar passion--I
don't know where he's picked it up--for wanting to pay everybody's
way; and you'd never think of your Hundred-Trip ticket-book till it
was too late. Do take your book out and hold it in your hand, so
you'll be sure to remember it, as soon as you see Willis. You had
better keep saying over to yourself, 'Willis--Hundred-Trip
Tickets--Willis--Hundred-Trip Tickets;' that's the way _I_ do. Where
_is_ the book? I have to remember everything! _Do_ keep your
ticket-book in your hand, Edward, till Willis comes."
Roberts: "But I want to read, Agnes, and I've got to hold my _Pop.
Sci._ with one hand and keep your traps in my lap with the other. Did
you find a cook?"
Mrs. Roberts, with rapturous admiration of him: "Well, Edward, you
_have_ got a brain! I declare, the cook had utterly gone out of my
mind. Forgetting that plush bag makes me forget everything. I've got
a splendid one--a perfect treasure.


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