Agnes would be very much
provoked with me, if you told Amy she had been engaging a cook. She
expects to smuggle her into the house without Amy's knowing."
Campbell: "And she left you to meet her here, and keep her--a cook
you'd never set eyes on! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Ah, ha, ha, ha! What's her
name?"
Roberts: "Agnes couldn't remember her last name--one never remembers a
cook's last name. Her first name is Norah or Bridget."
Campbell: "Maggie, perhaps; they all sound alike. Ah, ha, ha! Ha, ha,
ha! This improves."
Roberts: "Don't, Willis; you'll attract attention. What--what shall I
do? If Agnes comes back, and finds I've let the cook get away, she'll
be terribly put out."
Campbell: "Perfectly furious, you poor old fellow!--the rage of a
disappointed pigeon! I wouldn't be in your shoes for anything. Oh my!
I wish Amy was here. Did--did--Agnes"--(he struggles with his
laughter, and explodes from time to time between syllables)--"did she
tell you how the woman looked?"
Roberts: "She said she was a very respectable-looking old thing--a
perfect butter-ball. I suppose she was stout."
Campbell: "That covers the ground of a great many cooks. They're apt
to look respectable when they're off duty and they're not in liquor,
and they're apt to be perfect butter-balls.
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