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Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920

"The Albany Depot : a Farce"

"
McIlheny, after a swift glance at Campbell's proportions and
self-possession: "That's what ye're after thinkun', Mary; but I
haven't got annything to do with what ye're after thinkun'. All I
wannt to know is what this mahn meant by preshumin' to speak to a lady
he didn't know, and takun' her for a cuke." To Roberts: "Will ye tell
me that, ye--"
Roberts, in extreme embarrassment: "Yes, yes, certainly; I shall be
very glad to explain, if you'll just step here to the corner. We're
attracting attention where we are--"
McIlheny: "Attintion! Do ye suppose I care for attintion, when it's me
wife that's been insulted?" He follows Roberts up, with Mrs. McIlheny,
as he retires to the corner where she had been sitting, out of the way
of the people coming and going. Campbell, after a moment, closes his
magazine, and joins them.
Roberts: "Insulted? By no manner of means! Nothing was further from my
thoughts. I--I--can explain it all in a moment, my dear sir, if you
will have patience; I can indeed. I have the highest respect for the
lady, and I'm quite incapable of offering her an affront. The fact
is--I hardly know how to begin--"
McIlheny: "Go ahn, sor; or I'll have to do the beginnun' meself,
pretty soon.


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