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Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920

"The Albany Depot : a Farce"

Ye must excuse me _now_;
we're jist runnun' out to the Fahls to pass Sunday at a cousin's of
Mrs. McIlheny's." He snakes hands with Roberts and Campbell, and runs
out, followed by his wife.


IV

_ROBERTS AND CAMPBELL_
Campbell: "Distinguished public character. Well, we're out of that,
Roberts. I had to crowd the truth a little for you, but I fetched the
belligerent McIlheny. What are you going in for next?"
Roberts: "I--upon my word, I haven't the least idea. I think I shall
give up trying to identify the cook. Agnes must do it herself when she
comes here."
Campbell: "Oh no! _That_ won't do, old fellow. The cook may come here
and give you the slip before Agnes gets back."
Roberts: "What would you do?"
Campbell: "Well, I don't know; I don't like to advise, exactly; but it
seems to me you've got to keep trying. You've got to keep your eye out
for respectable butter-balls, and not let them slip through your
fingers."
Roberts: "You mean, go up and speak to them? I _couldn't_ do that
again."
Campbell: "Well, of course you didn't make a howling success with Mrs.
McIlheny; but it wasn't a dead-failure either. But you must use a
little more diplomacy--lead up to the subject gently.


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