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Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920

"The Albany Depot : a Farce"

Or, _you_ can't fly, you poor
old fellow! You've got to stay and look out for that cook. I'd be glad
to stay for you, but, you see, I should not know her."
Roberts: "I don't know her either, Willis. I was just thinking whether
you couldn't manage this wretched man rather better alone. I--I'm
afraid I confuse you; and he gets things out of me--admissions, you
know--"
Campbell: "No, no! Your moral support is everything. That lie of mine
is getting whittled away to nothing; we shall soon be down to the bare
truth. If it hadn't been for these last admissions of yours, I don't
know what I should have done. They were a perfect inspiration. I'll
tell you what, Roberts! I believe you can manage this business twice
as well without me. But you must keep your eye out for the cook! You
mustn't let any respectable butter-ball leave the room without asking
her if she's the one. You'll know how to put it more delicately now.
And I won't complicate you with McIlheny any more. I'll just step out
here--"
Roberts: "No, no, no! You mustn't go, Willis. You mustn't indeed! I
shouldn't know what to do with that tipsy nuisance. Ah, here he comes
again!"
Campbell, cheerily, to the approaching McIlheny: "I hope you didn't
lose your train, Mr.


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