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Howells, William Dean, 1837-1920

"The Albany Depot : a Farce"

"
Mrs. Campbell: "I congratulate you on being of the same taste, Willis.
And I dare say you tried to heighten the absurdity, and add to poor
Mr. Roberts's perplexity."
Roberts: "No, no! I assure you, Amy, if it hadn't been for Willis, I
shouldn't have known how to manage. I was quite at my wits' end."
Mrs. Campbell: "You are very generous, I'm sure, Mr. Roberts; and I
suppose I shall have to believe _you_."
Roberts: "But I couldn't act upon the suggestion to take the man out
and treat him; Willis was convinced himself, I think, that that
wouldn't do. But I confess I was tempted."
Mrs. Roberts: "Treat him?"
Roberts: "Yes. He was rather tipsy already; and Willis thought he
would be more peaceable perhaps if we could get him quite drunk; but I
really couldn't bring my mind to it, though I was so distracted that I
was on the point of yielding."
Both Ladies: "Willis!"
Mrs. Roberts: "You wanted poor Edward to go out and drink with that
wretched being, so as to get him into a still worse state?"
Mrs. Campbell: "You suggested that poor Mr. Roberts should do such a
thing as that? Well, Willis!"
Mrs. Roberts: "Well, Willis!" She turns from him more in sorrow than
in anger, and confronts a cook-like person of comfortable bulk, with a
bundle in her hand, and every mark of hurry and exhaustion in her
countenance.


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