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Jonson, Ben, 1573-1637

"The Alchemist"


He is the lying'st swabber! Come your ways, sir.
SUR. You are valiant out of company!
KAS. Yes, how then, sir?
[ENTER DRUGGER, WITH A PIECE OF DAMASK.]
FACE. Nay, here's an honest fellow, too, that knows him,
And all his tricks. Make good what I say, Abel,
This cheater would have cozen'd thee o' the widow. --
[ASIDE TO DRUG.]
He owes this honest Drugger here, seven pound,
He has had on him, in two-penny'orths of tobacco.
DRUG. Yes, sir.
And he has damn'd himself three terms to pay me.
FACE. And what does he owe for lotium?
DRUG. Thirty shillings, sir;
And for six syringes.
SUR. Hydra of villainy!
FACE. Nay, sir, you must quarrel him out o' the house.
KAS. I will:
- Sir, if you get not out of doors, you lie;
And you are a pimp.
SUR. Why, this is madness, sir,
Not valour in you; I must laugh at this.
KAS. It is my humour: you are a pimp and a trig,
And an Amadis de Gaul, or a Don Quixote.
DRUG. Or a knight o' the curious coxcomb, do you see?
[ENTER ANANIAS.]
ANA. Peace to the household!
KAS. I'll keep peace for no man.
ANA. Casting of dollars is concluded lawful.
KAS. Is he the constable?
SUB. Peace, Ananias.
FACE. No, sir.
KAS. Then you are an otter, and a shad, a whit,
A very tim.
SUR. You'll hear me, sir?
KAS. I will not.
ANA. What is the motive?
SUB. Zeal in the young gentleman,
Against his Spanish slops.
ANA. They are profane,
Lewd, superstitious, and idolatrous breeches.


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