"
"I can't," he said heavily.
Hilda shivered and sat still. Bartley leaned his head in his hands and
spoke through his teeth. "It's got to be a clean break, Hilda. I can't
see you at all, anywhere. What I mean is that I want you to promise
never to see me again, no matter how often I come, no matter how hard I
beg."
Hilda sprang up like a flame. She stood over him with her hands clenched
at her side, her body rigid.
"No!" she gasped. "It's too late to ask that. Do you hear me, Bartley?
It's too late. I won't promise. It's abominable of you to ask me. Keep
away if you wish; when have I ever followed you? But, if you come to me,
I'll do as I see fit. The shamefulness of your asking me to do that! If
you come to me, I'll do as I see fit. Do you understand? Bartley, you're
cowardly!"
Alexander rose and shook himself angrily. "Yes, I know I'm cowardly.
I'm afraid of myself. I don't trust myself any more. I carried it all
lightly enough at first, but now I don't dare trifle with it. It's
getting the better of me. It's different now. I'm growing older, and
you've got my young self here with you. It's through him that I've come
to wish for you all and all the time." He took her roughly in his arms.
"Do you know what I mean?"
Hilda held her face back from him and began to cry bitterly. "Oh,
Bartley, what am I to do? Why didn't you let me be angry with you? You
ask me to stay away from you because you want me! And I've got nobody
but you. I will do anything you say--but that! I will ask the least
imaginable, but I must have SOMETHING!"
Bartley turned away and sank down in his chair again.
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