If any out of the dozen deserve
punishment, you will surely agree with me it is these. Belief or
disbelief is therefore not meritorious, and when founded on an unfair
balance of evidence is blameable.
Now to apply the principles to my own case. In my early youth I heard,
as ninety-nine-hundredths of the world do, only the evidence on one
side, and became impressed with a veneration for religion which has left
some traces even to this day. I have since heard and read much on both
sides, and pondered much upon the matter in all its bearings. I spent,
as you know, a year and a half in a clergyman's family and heard almost
every Tuesday the very best, most earnest and most impressive preacher
it has ever been my fortune to meet with, but it produced no effect
whatever on my mind. I have since wandered among men of many races and
many religions. I have studied man, and nature in all its aspects, and I
have sought after truth. In my solitude I have pondered much on the
incomprehensible subjects of space, eternity, life and death. I think I
have fairly heard and fairly weighed the evidence on both sides, and I
remain an _utter disbeliever_ in almost all that you consider the most
sacred truths.
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