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Miller, J. R. (James Russell), 1840-1912

"Making the Most of Life"

We need to guard our sympathies when we would comfort
and help those who are suffering or are in trouble of any kind. It may
seem a severe thing to say, but illness is ofttimes made worse by the
pity of friends. There is in weak natures a tendency to indulge
sickness, to exaggerate its symptoms, to imagine that it is more
serious than it really is, and easily to succumb to its influence. You
find your friend indisposed, and you are profuse in your expressions of
sympathy, encouraging or suggesting fears, urging prompt medical help.
You think you have shown kindness, but very likely you have done sore
injury. You have left a depressing influence behind you. Your friend
is disheartened and alarmed. You have left him weaker, not stronger.
It may seem hard-hearted to appear to be unsympathetic with invalids,
and those who are slightly or even seriously sick; not to take interest
in their complaints; not to say commiserating things to them; but
really it is the part of true friendship to help sick people fight the
battle with their ills. We ought, therefore, to guard against speaking
any word which will discourage them, increase their fear, exaggerate
their thought of their illness, or weaken them in their struggle. On
the other hand, we ought to say words which will cheer and strengthen
them, and make them braver for the fight. Our duty is to help them to
get well.


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