Thus, I understood, by my own experience, what I had read, how the
flesh lusteth against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh.
Myself verily either way; yet more myself, in that which I approved in
myself, than in that which in myself I disapproved. For in this
last, it was now for the more part not myself, because in much I
rather endured against my will, than acted willingly. And yet it was
through me that custom had obtained this power of warring against
me, because I had come willingly, whither I willed not. And who has
any right to speak against it, if just punishment follow the sinner?
Nor had I now any longer my former plea, that I therefore as yet
hesitated to be above the world and serve Thee, for that the truth was
not altogether ascertained to me; for now it too was. But I still
under service to the earth, refused to fight under Thy banner, and
feared as much to be freed of all incumbrances, as we should fear to
be encumbered with it. Thus with the baggage of this present world was
I held down pleasantly, as in sleep: and the thoughts wherein I
meditated on Thee were like the efforts of such as would awake, who
yet overcome with a heavy drowsiness, are again drenched therein.
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