So also in
wills which are good. For I ask them, is it good to take pleasure in
reading the Apostle? or good to take pleasure in a sober Psalm? or
good to discourse on the Gospel? They will answer to each, "it is
good." What then if all give equal pleasure, and all at once? Do not
divers wills distract the mind, while he deliberates which he should
rather choose? yet are they all good, and are at variance till one
be chosen, whither the one entire will may be borne, which before
was divided into many. Thus also, when, above, eternity delights us,
and the pleasure of temporal good holds us down below, it is the
same soul which willeth not this or that with an entire will; and
therefore is rent asunder with grievous perplexities, while out of
truth it sets this first, but out of habit sets not that aside.
Thus soul-sick was I, and tormented, accusing myself much more
severely than my wont, rolling and turning me in my chain, till that
were wholly broken, whereby I now was but just, but still was, held.
And Thou, O Lord, pressedst upon me in my inward parts by a severe
mercy, redoubling the lashes of fear and shame, lest I should again
give way, and not bursting that same slight remaining tie, it should
recover strength, and bind me the faster.
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