In like manner also a childish feeling in me, which
was, through my heart's youthful voice, finding its vent in weeping,
was checked and silenced. For we thought it not fitting to solemnise
that funeral with tearful lament, and groanings; for thereby do they
for the most part express grief for the departed, as though unhappy,
or altogether dead; whereas she was neither unhappy in her death,
nor altogether dead. Of this we were assured on good grounds, the
testimony of her good conversation and her faith unfeigned.
What then was it which did grievously pain me within, but a fresh
wound wrought through the sudden wrench of that most sweet and dear
custom of living together? I joyed indeed in her testimony, when, in
that her last sickness, mingling her endearments with my acts of duty,
she called me "dutiful," and mentioned, with great affection of
love, that she never had heard any harsh or reproachful sound
uttered by my mouth against her. But yet, O my God, Who madest us,
what comparison is there betwixt that honour that I paid to her, and
her slavery for me? Being then forsaken of so great comfort in her, my
soul was wounded, and that life rent asunder as it were, which, of
hers and mine together, had been made but one.
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