Yet I know not whether I can well or ill be
without anything, unless it be absent.
What then do I confess unto Thee in this kind of temptation, O Lord?
What, but that I am delighted with praise, but with truth itself, more
than with praise? For were it proposed to me, whether I would, being
frenzied in error on all things, be praised by all men, or being
consistent and most settled in the truth be blamed by all, I see which
I should choose. Yet fain would I that the approbation of another
should not even increase my joy for any good in me. Yet I own, it doth
increase it, and not so only, but dispraise doth diminish it. And when
I am troubled at this my misery, an excuse occurs to me, which of what
value it is, Thou God knowest, for it leaves me uncertain. For since
Thou hast commanded us not continency alone, that is, from what things
to refrain our love, but righteousness also, that is, whereon to
bestow it, and hast willed us to love not Thee only, but our neighbour
also; often, when pleased with intelligent praise, I seem to myself to
be pleased with the proficiency or towardliness of my neighbour, or to
be grieved for evil in him, when I hear him dispraise either what he
understands not, or is good.
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