Let me examine myself again more diligently. If in
my praise I am moved with the good of my neighbour, why am I less
moved if another be unjustly dispraised than if it be myself? Why am I
more stung by reproach cast upon myself, than at that cast upon
another, with the same injustice, before me? Know I not this also?
or is it at last that I deceive myself, and do not the truth before
Thee in my heart and tongue? This madness put far from me, O Lord,
lest mine own mouth be to me the sinner's oil to make fat my head. I
am poor and needy; yet best, while in hidden groanings I displease
myself, and seek Thy mercy, until what is lacking in my defective
state be renewed and perfected, on to that peace which the eye of
the proud knoweth not.
Yet the word which cometh out of the mouth, and deeds known to
men, bring with them a most dangerous temptation through the love of
praise: which, to establish a certain excellency of our own,
solicits and collects men's suffrages. It tempts, even when it is
reproved by myself in myself, on the very ground that it is
reproved; and often glories more vainly of the very contempt of
vain-glory; and so it is no longer contempt of vain-glory, whereof
it glories; for it doth not contemn when it glorieth.
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