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McCutcheon, George Barr, 1866-1928

"The Rose in the Ring"

It--"
"Oh, I've had a case or two myself, kid. It ain't nothin' new, this
crimp you've got," said Dick, putting his heels on the desk. "Adam had
it. So did Solomon, only he had it in so many places he got so he
didn't mind it. Think of them guys that have harems. Think of Brigham
Young. Why, kid, you don't know the first thing about love pains.
Think of the guy with the harem and _his_ guesswork! He's got something
to worry about, he has. It's awful when you've got to love a couple of
hundred of 'em at once, and them all hatin' you like poison. And old
Brigham--think of him settin' up all hours of the night, wonderin'
whether she loves him as much as she used to, and not being able to
remember just which _she_ he's thinkin' about. Brace up, kid. It's only
a rash you've got. If Christie has given you the shake just remember
how easy it was for Brigham to collect 'em. The woods are full of 'em."
"But, good Lord, Dick," cried David, laughing in spite of himself,
"I'm not a Mormon."
"Kid, every man's a Mormon at heart. Just cram that in your pipe. And
every woman, no matter how ugly she is, thinks she's a siren.


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