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Various

"1917 Almanack"

--CROWN PRINCE drives out of
bounds twelve times, gives away second set of clubs and sends for
a third. FRANCIS-JOSEPH, attempting the Smuts Smash from edge
of Usambara Bunker, over-balances into hazard and is partially
suffocated. FERDINAND is disqualified for pushing on the green. MEHMED
holes his tee shot. (Uproar.) Orientals one up.
_5th Hole_ (_Douaumont to Verdun--long heart-breaking test of
golf_.)--CROWN PRINCE gives first-hand exhibition of frightfulness and
cuts down caddy with a niblick, the miserable fellow having coughed
as C.P. was about to drive. MEHMED, who is now taking a larger size in
fezzes by reason of performance at last tee, puts eight new balls into
the Meuse Burn and gives up. FRANCIS-JOSEPH, still too full of sand
to play hole, awaits arrival of vacuum-cleaner. FERDINAND, after twice
exploiting the Big Push brassie shot, is suspended for cutting the
cloth. C.P. abandons hole (or what is left of it) after missing
two-inch putt.
5_p.m._--Match all square at the turn.


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