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Holden, Martha Everts, 1844?-1896

"A String of Amber Beads"

I am tired of putting down
pride and curbing a righteous indignation. I am tired of keeping my
hands off human weeds. I am tired of crucifying my tastes, and
cultivating the nickel that springs perennial to meet my needs. I am
tired of poverty and all needful discipline. I am tired of seeing
babies born to people who don't know how to bring them up. I am tired
of folks who smile continuously. I am tired of amiable fools and the
platitudes of unintelligent saints. I am tired of mediocrity. I am
tired of cats, both human and feline. I am tired of being a soldier
and marching with the advance guard. I am tired of girls who giggle
and of boys who swear. I am tired of married women who think it
charming to be a little giddy, and of married men who ogle young girls
and other men's wives. I am tired of a world where love is like the
blossom of the century plant, unfolding only once in a hundred years.
I am tired of men who are worthless and decayed to the core, like
blighted peaches. I am tired of seeing such men in power. I am tired
of being obliged to smile where I long to smite. I am tired of
vulgarity which glides forever through the world like the snake through
Eden. I am tired of women who bear the hearts of tigers, and of men
who roar like lions, yet show the valor of mice. I am tired of living
shoulder to shoulder with my pet antipathies.


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