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Beach, Rex Ellingwood, 1877-1949

"The Ne'er-Do-Well"

"I have seen
something of the world; I'm not easily shocked."
"Well, I was perfectly sober the last I remember, and then I woke
up on the Santa Cruz. I'd never even heard the name before."
"And hadn't you intended taking an ocean trip?"
"Good Lord, no! I had just bought a new French car and was going
to drive it up to New Haven yesterday. It's standing out on Forty-
fifth Street now, if somebody hasn't stolen it. Gee! I can see the
news-boys cutting their monograms in those tires."
"How remarkable!"
"You see, it was a big night--football game, supper, and all that.
I remember everything up to a certain point, then--curtain! I was
'out' for twelve hours, and SICK!--that's the funny part; I'm
still sick." He shook his head as if at a loss what to make of
this phenomenon. He noted how the woman's countenance lighted at
even a passing interest, as he continued: "What I can't understand
is this: It took all my money to pay for the supper, and yet I
wake up with a first-class ticket to Panama and in possession of
one of the best suites on the ship. It's a problem play."
"You say you were sick afterward?"
"WAS I?" Kirk turned his eyes upon the speaker, mournfully. "My
head isn't right yet."
"You were drugged," said the woman.


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