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Beach, Rex Ellingwood, 1877-1949

"The Ne'er-Do-Well"

"
"And put it together again?"
"Oh no! I can sail a boat; I shoot pretty well; I waltz nicely; I
row, swim, and box indifferently; and I play an atrocious hand at
poker."
Mrs. Cortlandt nodded gravely. "You are also good company, you
dress well, and you are an ornament to any hotel porch."
"Naturally, I refrained from mentioning those things, but, in
addition, I smoke, drink, and swear. I am unsteady in my habits,
and require a great deal of sleep. I think that completes the
inventory."
"Of course, you will live beyond your salary?"
"Undoubtedly."
"Seriously, now, don't you really---?"
"Go ahead. Say it! Don't I know anything? No. I am too highly
educated. You see, I took the full college course."
She drew her sharply pencilled brows together and pursed her lips
in meditation, regarding him meanwhile with a, look that was not
all disapproval.
"Am I hopeless?" he inquired at length.
"Dear, no! Experience is a good thing, of course, and ability is
even better, but neither is absolutely necessary in government
work."
"Oh!"
"Provided---"
"What?"
"--You have influence. I was merely trying to think of the niche
into which you would best fit."
"When a fellow hasn't any of those qualifications, then what? Take
me, for instance.


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