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Beach, Rex Ellingwood, 1877-1949

"The Ne'er-Do-Well"

He conveyed the impression that, if it had been necessary to
journey beyond the grave and bring back the ghost of some dead-
and-gone Chiquita, he would have gloriously succeeded. One
morning, a few days later, he appeared to Kirk, bursting with
importance and news.
"Well, sar! I have discovered your female," he announced,
pompously.
"No? What's her name? Who is she?"
"Her is named Maria Torres, sar, and resides in the small 'ouse
you h'observed upon the 'ill."
"Did you SEE her?" Anthony could hardly believe his ears.
"Oh yes, very h'extensively."
"What does she look like? Is she dark?"
"Very dark, sar."
"And small?"
"Not too small," opined Allan.
"Of course, just right. And her eyes, like--like--"
"H'ink! Spots of h'ink. Oh, it is she, Master h'Auntony."
"Jove! I believe it is! You're an ace, Allan. You're my ace of
spades." Out of pure joy he began to pummel him playfully. "Why
don't you rejoice? Lift up your voice and sing. Maria Torres! It's
a heavenly name--Why don't you make a joyful noise?"
Allan voiced a feeble hurrah.
"It was only by chawnce that I h'encountered her, boss, for she is
residing in the city. I h'ascertained all those facts--"
"Good! Find the street and number, quick! I'm going a-wooing! Say!
When these Spaniards court a girl they hang around her window and
roll their eyes, don't they? Me for that! I'll haunt the Torres
neighborhood until she shows herself, or die in the attempt.


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