1892.]
[_Christopher Columbus_. "WHAT! GO OVER IN FIVE DAYS! WHY, IF I'D HAD
A SHIP LIKE THAT, I'D HAVE DISCOVERED EVERYTHING BEFORE NOW!"]
* * * * *
ELECTION AGONIES.
(_BY A RE-ELECTED M.P._)
Yes, there I stood beside my wife,
And called it--whilst the mob cheered wildly--
"The proudest moment of my life,"
Which it was _not_, to put it mildly.
Heavens, how they cheered! Up went their caps,
To see their Member safely seated;
Who in his inmost soul, perhaps,
Had almost wished himself defeated.
The girls are pleased. And Mrs. T.,
Has fairy visions of a handle
To grace the name she shares with me;
But is the game quite worth the candle?
Six years of unremitting work,
Of flower-shows, bazaars, and speeches,
Of sturdy mendicants who lurk
In wait to act as sturdy leeches.
The faddists--Anti-This-and-That--
Blue-spectacled "One Vote, One Person"--
Extract a promise, prompt and pat,
The while their heads you hurl a curse on.
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